Bapašaba

Rastislav Dobos (About Sitting Presidents) 

What is the human being? And who is he

That all his admirers praise him so much?

                                      /verses to an eternal glory of God/ 

“It´s a real circus,“ complained a guy in greasy overalls. He was sitting on the chair just looking and waiting for come what may. And he was smoking. At the same time he was scrubbing hard his filthy black hands with dirty sand. It did not work. “Doggone! To spend the whole life sitting on a chair and waiting for come what may.“ He poured a beer down his throat.

“Not a circus, but a spectacle,“ indicated the parliamentary representatives. They seemed to be in a good mood to chat with people. “We, too, are only sitting on chairs and pushing forward. Like everybody else. There´s a lot of creaking. Everything is either rotten inside out or brand new. Or maybe neither one or the other. You should fix it. Or break it. Or maybe neither one or the other.”

The guy in overalls changed chairs to sit by the piano. “I´ll rather play something for you. C. That´s what I know best.“ And he played

They all downed a beer and kept on pushing forward again. Really, there was horrible creaking. But children were playing their old game even in this racket. Children are children. Or maybe not even that.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King's horses and all the King's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.”

“Those kids are bombarding each other with mud from morning till evening. They probably even eat it,“ complained the teacher. Another postcard landed on his bald spot from the sky. It made a smacking sound. There was another crucified smart alec on the card. 

The crucified smart alec immediately started pulling in his nailed stomach so that nobody would see how fat he was. He said: “He, who lasts till the end, will be rewarded!“ And he looked into far distance. He wore a prophetic look with his stomach pulled in. No wonder, the creaking of chairs noticeably hastened.

“Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa€k!”

The woman, who became the most intelligent one in the world yesterday, said: “Chirrrrrp! Chirrrrrp!“ and also kept on pushing forward.

The crucified smart alec gave her a kind look and added: “He, who lasts till the end, will be rewarded!“

“He´s a twat chaser,“ said the President. But that would still not have to mean anything, because he himself was a notorious twat chaser. He was sitting a little to the side on a chair at the piano, which reminded everyone of a  peter decorated by all kinds of wreaths or a throne.

“I´m not a twat chaser,“ defended himself the crucified smart alec. “The faith in me is based on something else.“ And he emphatically knocked on the cross with his index finger. He managed to strain a few drops of blood from the wounds. “You’re simply not getting it.“ But he himself did not grasp it.

“You´re right, why should you needlessly save the protein in your bangers,“ joined him the President and patted him on shoulders in sheer joy. He almost broke the smart alec’s cross.

“Yes, they eat mud! I saw it!“ yelled out the teacher. “What a game! Has anyone ever seen something like that?! For sure they’ll choke on it.”

Unfathomable distances were attracting everyone by their distant glimmer. Or maybe not even by that.

“We won´t get any farther today,“ bitterly sighed the President, but basically he was glad that he could amuse himself in peace and did not have to hurry ahead like a worn out shrewmouse.

“He, who lasts till the end, will be rewarded!“

“This smart alec of today says the same thing as the one of yesterday,“ said the teacher.

“And the latter says the same thing as the one of the day before yesterday,“ chattered the children. They were playing a game who could spit a little sticky ball of mud the farthest. Suddenly, mud was everywhere. All changed into one big blob of mud.

“Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa€k!”

“And the same thing over and over again!“ blurted out the guy in greasy overalls. He had enough of it up to his ears. “I´ve had enough of it up to here! Where are those fricking repressentatives from the Parliament? Let them back me up!“ And he played C. Like this

“If a simple person cannot proclaim that something is wrong, then that person considers it to be true,“ defended him the repressentatives. “Or maybe neither one or the other.”

“But you´re always right,“ said hoarsely in admiration the guy in overalls. And immediately he fell into depression. “And I´m right only sometimes. And that´s only when I agree with you.“

At that moment the crucified smart alec leaned toward him and whispered into his greasy ear: “He, who lasts till the end, will be rewarded!“

Now the guy really felt needles in his overalls. “Darn it, where are all those postcards coming down from?!“

“Chirrrrrp! Chirrrrrp!“ sounded from under the piano. The President started fucking around so hard, that the piano was creaking and squeaking, and women were moaning and chirping.

The guy in overalls clenched his fists and stuck them out at the repressentatives. “See these? They reek with death!“ and threw a punch into the sky. A chunk of a blue cloud and a bit of the yellow sun peeled off. A chapped cardboard showed up. Those sitting nearby instantly turned yellow and blue. The repressentatives were covered by a green muck. “Do you think we could ever lie to you?“ they lied.

“You could never lie to me,“ acknowledged the guy in overalls. “Only if it mattered to you.“ He calmed down. He crawled into the corner and admired the President. He was peeping at the chapped cardboard and smiling. Or maybe neither one or the other.

The repressentatives, who were obviously thinking very brilliantly today, suggested: “If a simple person can never proclaim in future that something is wrong, then that person considers it to be hogwash.“ And they raised the crucified smart alec high up in the air. He was flapping around in the wind like a belly-shaped flag. All were looking into the distance. All were walking into the distance. Or they were standing again. And there was laughter and jabbering. Only the crucified smart alec was cursing in his mind. He could not even satisfy himself by the fact that he could explain it to everyone. Instead, he rather shouted: “He, who lasts till the end, will be rewarded!“

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King's horses and all the King's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.”

Two hundred clever babes were pushing forward the President’s peter decorated by all kinds of wreaths. “Chirrrrrp! Chirrrrrp!“

The crowd was palpating the unfathomable distances in disbelief. Fingers messy from paint. The President blurted out: “A bit longer we´re gonna be there. Why couldn´t we manage it right today?“ Everyone got overpowered by an indescribable excitement. The peter, decorated by all kinds of wreaths, could not hold it any longer. It was squirting out spittle of little white seeds in regular gusts. There was a plopping cheer bubbling up from beneath the seeds.

Would that it was already all behind us, thought the crucified smart alec.

The mud changed into gold. The kids were spitting golden marbles. There was gold everywhere.

“Kids can take a lot of changes,“ comforted himself the teacher.

“He, who lasts till the end, will be rewarded!“ repeated the crucified smart alec.

“Three times hurray to the perfect wonderful life!“ shouted the President. “To the life at the reach of a colorful hand!“

“Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!“ screamed the man in golden overalls. And others too.

“Chirrrrrp! Chirrrrrp!“

And the crucified smart alec was floating back towards heavens, and he thought that the life on Earth was too much out of whack to be even considered as predesigned.